What are habits?
Habits are the things that we do every day without realizing, without thinking much of them, but we do these actions, these routines on a daily basis, When you don't notice something, you can't control it, you can't change it, you cant replace the bad habits with the good ones if you don't know-how, but once you understand how habits work, how you can change them. You have the freedom and the responsibility to remake them,once you understand that habits can be rebuilt,The power of habits becomes easier to grasp, and the only thing left is to get to work.
There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the opposite way, who nods at them and says "morning boys,hows the water?" ….and the two young fish swim for a bit and then eventualy one of them looks at the other and goes"what the hell is water?!"
The water is the habits and patterns its the unthinking choices and invisible decision that surround us every day. And which, just by looking for them, become visible again. And once it is visible, it's within our control.
Water, he said is the aptest analogy for how a habit works, water "hollows out for itself a channel, which grows broader and deeper, and after having ceased to flow, it resumes when it flows again, the path traced by itself before"
1. How habits Work:
i. The habit loop model:
A. The cue:
It can come in all different shapes and size
Object, sound smell, place, time, emotion.
it Signals brain for the next step.
B. The Routine:
Its the actual habit itself, the behavior u perform
Eg: Taking out ur pack, lighting up, and taking the pull of a cigarette
C. The reward:
This can vary between many things, like a dopamine spike, break from work, socializing.
The habit loop is called a loop, is because of the reward, if it's satisfying enough then the routine will become a habit. Cause the brain will want it to happen again when he notices the cue and will want the reward.
ii. What you can do with this:
A. With the Cues:
Takes the cues that you have in your bad habits and attach them to more positive routines, and sometimes there is more than one cue
B. With the reward:
Discover The driving force behind your addiction and change the routine, every bad habit there is, gives you an increase in dopamine.
Habits cannot be eradicated, they must instead be replaced, and for that it's needed to apply the golden rule of habit change to it, if we keep the same cue, and the same reward, a new routine can be inserted. but that's not enough, for a habit to stay changed, YOU must believe change is possible. And most often, that belief emerges with the help of a group.
The cue and reward cannot be erased, so we have to replace the routine with one that also fits, REPLACE NOT ERASE.
2. Misconceptions about habits:
i. Time to form a habit:
it takes 21 days to form a habit and that's completely wrong.
The time you need to reach MAXIMUM AUTOMATICITY (which means how little thought you need to put into a task, like how easy tying ur shoes is.) A routine becomes a FULLY EMBEDDED HABIT when it reaches its highest point of automaticity. And every routine out there has an AUTOMACITY LINE, its the line(the point) where the habit cant become anymore automatic. And it takes from 2 weeks to 9 months to reach this point.
EG: It takes about 9 months to form the habit of going to the gym.
ii. What happens when u relapse:
if you relapse or break your streak, all of ur progress is lost
And that's very wrong, it affects a bit but not that much.
missing a single day does not effect your progress, the effect is soo small it can't be measured.
But if you continue to relapse it will effect you by a lot, so if you miss 2 days it's tremendously worse than missing one day.
Keep in mind that 90% of people relapse at least once.
So stick to a habit until it reachest the AUTOMACITY LINE, and it's okay if u relapse once along the way, but remember constant relapsing will reset your progress or at least affect it immensely.
3. KeyStone Habits:
It's a single habit that triggers a huge amount of change all throughout your life, they're “small habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives.”
They create a domino effect that can change every area of your life.
Three best Keystone habits:
These habits have the highest chance to trigger large change.
i. Reading:
We spend 12 to 18 years at schools but we barely learn anything that's useful in our real lives, and books provide you the knowledge you need, on diet, money, fitness, social skills.and it will make you adjust other areas in your life.
EG: reading a book about finance will make u adjust ur finance handling a lot better than before.
ii. Meditation:
it trains the part of your brain that is responsible for willpower, u can control ur emotions better than before, and lets you focus longer, it also gives u a sense of general well being.
It's one of the hardest habits to adopt, but this makes it into one of the most powerful keystone HABITS.
iii. Fitness:(running,lifting,calisthenics)
Most people who start a fitness habit also find themselves sticking to some sort of diet habit, and they're both very hard habits to adopt and maintain, wich will give you more willpower to make other habits. And it makes you feel a lot more energized, which gives u more energy for other habits.
These keystone habits are without a doubt the most powerful KEYSTONE HABITS and will most likely get you other good habits. and change your life.
And please Put your focus on ONE KEYSTONE HABIT until it becomes an automatic habit, If you focus on too many you won't be able to make any of them a habit.
4. Properly building a habit:
i. CUE:
A. Pick a cue that appears every single day.
B. A cue that is unavoidable(no matter where you are, what you're doing, or even how you're feeling)
Examples: Showering, brushing your teeth,logging to your pc, or on your way from school/work.
C. Your cue should make it easier to start your routine immediately.
EG: sign up for a gym that is in the way from school wich will make it easier to get the cue,' seeing the gym ' so u can instantly get into the routine.
D. Only pick one cue for one routine, if u pick 2 cues for the same routine, you'll be making 2 habits. At the same time, which will take twice the amount of time.
ii. Routine:
A. Don't set high expectations to your routine. (if you expect too much of it, at some point you'll have a day where you cant keep up,and ull skip it, then 2 then 3 days then you'll go back to your old habits:c.)
B. The only thing that will get you to the LINE OF AUTOMATICITY, IS CONSISTENCY is the only thing that will make your routine a Habit.
C. Set a low bar for your routine to keep your consistency. A low bar is, The least amount of work that will still move your habit closer to the line of automaticity.
EG: if you want to get the keystone habit of meditating, most people will want to do 20Mins a day meditating,but at some point, they will skip a day or two, then they will stop meditating, but if you have a low bar on this routine (wich is like 2mins meditating a day) you will do it daily without any struggle.
This makes it a lot easier for you to stick to your routine even if you have very little will power.
Your brain wont be scared of doing 2mins of meditating it won't be hard. And after you do 2mins you will probably want to do more, and it won't seem hard to do more cause you have already started( wich is also called the 2min rule if you wanna search it)
So when your tired don't force yourself to do the whole activity,2mins is enough to keep the habit, BUT don't be lazy, When you know you can Go all the way in your routine!
Iii. The reward:
You need a prize that is worth while at the end of your routine if you don't have one your brain won't even bother remembering the routine,It wont be worth it, cause it's not giving you dopamine.
A. The reward has to be instant, right after the routine, or at least a few minutes after for it to work.
EG: If you workout and your reward is getting BUFFED AF 3 months later , that wont work, you need an instant reward like a sense of achievement, or the endorphin your body releases when working out,Or praising urself for doing a good job, or a great meal right after your workout. (nothing too high in calories or you might end up feeling bad)
B. The reward has to give you pleasure and feel really good, if you want your routine to stick, give yourself a reward worth your while (like good food or playing a bit ).
5. Willpower:
If you have the willpower to resist your urges , that willpower will spill over to other things, and it will make you more successful at most other things!
Its a muscle you use to do hard tasks, and it being a muscle means the more you use this mental muscle the less mental strength you'll have the rest of the day.and when you deplete all your willpower,you enter a weak state, This state is called Ego depletion.
When you reach this state your brain will work a lot slower and weaker, so you'll make a lot of mistakes while working and thinking, and do worse on everything basicaly. And you'll get Mad or sad really fast.
You become more impulsive and bad habits that were already in your mind become a lot harder to resist, so it will make you relapse really easily.
i. Consuming willpower:
A. Mental use:
you consume willpower by using your mind to solve problems, like doing work or solving hard math equations.
§ For this try to finding ways to make your job easier wich will consume less willpower.
B. Resisting urges and cravings:
after a lot of time-fighting an urge (breaking a diet), the longer you fight the urge the more willpower you consume, and at some point you in a Ego depletion state and relapse.
Changing your environment makes it easier for you to deal with this.
EG: if you have a pack of cigarettes on you, resisting will be a lot harder than not having any cigarettes at all, you can also take a walk it distracts you.
Become very mindful of your urges, when you feel a craving, focus on it and think of how your feeling.if you focus on the feeling it will make you less propabal to sucumb to the urge.
Deciding on things consumes willpower,make a list of the things you plan on doing and the time of doing them, so it will take you less willpower to make decisions during the day cause you already know your plans.
Learn to enjoy your tasks, convince urself that the habit you wanna do is THE BEST EVER.
surround yourself with things and people that motivate you to do the habit.
ii.Recharging willpower:
When your willpower drops and even if it reaches the ego depletion state you can still recharge it to finish your day with higher energy and higher willpower. And there two ways for that:
A. Eating Food:
Eating regenerates your willpower very well,but not eating any food, eating high sugary food and junk food only gives you a spike of power for a short time, what you need is eating meat, veggies, eggs and anything healthy will regenerate your willpower for longer times.
B. Switching brain modes:
When we make decisions and solve problems were in thinking mode, and that constantly consumes will power.In order to recharge brainpower, we need to go on STANDBY MODE.
When your in this mode, your not thinking about hard decisions and allow your mind to wander and enjoy things around you.
One of the ways to get in this mode is by walking outside when you walk you mind becomes relaxed and less stressed and wanders on whats around you and clear your mind. 5/10mins are enough. But you can also do other things like watching something fun, it works too.
And if you cant really relax and control your mind I suggest you get into the habit of Meditation, its one of the best keystones there is!
C. SLEEPING:
sleeping is the best way to regenerate willpower, getting enough sleep will provide you with huge amounts of willpower and energy!
Apply The habit loop and Gaining habits:
If you believe you can change, if you make it a habit, the change becomes real. This is the real power of habit: the insight of habits are what you choose them to be.
Once that choice occurs and becomes automatic, habitual, it's not real, it starts to seem inevitable, the thing that bears us irresistibly toward our destiny,whatever the latter maybe,it can be reshaped.
THE FRAMEWORK:
· Identify the routine
· Experiment with rewards
· Isolate the cue
· Have a plan
Step one:
There is a loop in habits, a loop that consists of three parts:A cue, A routine and a reward.
To understand your own habits, you need to identify the components of your loops,once you have diagnosed the habit loop of a particular behavior, you can look for ways to supplant old vices with new routines.
· How do you start diagnosing and then changing this behavior? By figuring out the habit loop.and the first step is to identify the routine. In most habits the routine is the most obvious aspect. its the behavior you do and you want to change. when u figure it out, Put it in the loop
Next, some less obvious questions,wh at's the cue for this routine? Is it hunger? Boredome? Loneliness?stress?
· And what's the reward? The dopamine? The food itself?The change of scenery? The temporary distraction? Stress relief?
To figure this out, you'll need to do a little experimentation.
Step two: Experiment with rewards
Rewards are powerful because they satisfy cravings. but we're often not conscious of the cravings that drive our behaviors.Most cravings are hiding in plain sight,obvious in retrospect, but incredibly hard to see when we are under their sway.
To figure out which cravings are driving particular habits, it's useful to experiment with different rewards. This might take a few days, or a week,or longer, during that period , you shouldn't feel any pressure to make a real change. think of urself as a scientist in the data collection stage.
after you do your 'habit' use an old trick to look for patterns, after each activity, write down on a piece of paper the first 3 things that come to mind when you finish doing the activity. random thoughts reflections on how you feel, anything. Then reflect on those feelings. and see wich one repeats every day,it might be the reward.
set an alarm for 15 mins and when it goes off, ask yourself do you still feel the urge for that activity?
The reason this is important, is cause first, it forces a mommentary awareness of what your thinking. And ull be able to recall what you were feeling a lot better later on.
why 15mins alarm? Because the point of these tests is to determine the reward you're craving. If, fifteen minutes after eating a donut, you still feel the urge to get another one then your habit isn't motivated by sugar craving. but if after 15mins you dnt find the urge to, then ur motivated by a sugar craving.
Once you've figured the routine and the reward,what remains is identifying The Cue.
Step three: Isolate the cue
Almost all habitual cues fit into one of five categories:
Location,Time, Emotional State,Other people,Immediately preceding action.
So if you are trying to figure out your cue you answer those 5 things each time that urge comes to you.
And notice the differences each day, and after a few days u'll notice what your cue is.
STEP FOUR: HAVE A PLAN
Once you've figured out your habit loop, u identified the reward driving your behavior,the cue triggering it, and the routine itself, you can begin to shift the behavior, you can change to a better routine by planning for the cue, and choosing a behavior that delivers the reward you are craving.What you need is a plan.
A habit is a formula our brain automatically follows: When I see a CUE, i will do ROUTINE in order to get REWARD. To re-engineer that formula , we need to begin making choices again. The easiest way to do this, IS TO HAVE A PLAN. So make one counter your routine with another.
It won't work immediatly you'll miss your plan,sometimes it will seem like too much work, but when you stick to the plan you'll notice that you will always feel better and after some time you'll wont even think of it as a routine, it will just happen, it will become an automatic habit.
With that, we end this Habit article and by now I hope you all know how to recognize your habits, know what makes them a habit, how you can change them, how long it takes to change or install a habit on your brain, and mostly, I hope we changed how you see your daily actions. Thank you for reading!
Good luck, Have faith, and be brave enough to try!
"Empty your mind,be formless,shapless,like water.You put watter into a cup it becomes the cup ,you put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle, you put water into a tea pot it becomes the tea pot.Watter can flow ,or it can crash,Be water my friend"- Bruce lee
EXTRA TIPS:
.
Habits cannot be eradicated, it must instead be replaced
And that its need to applied the golden rule of habit change to it if we keep the same cue and the same reward, a new routine can be inserted.but that's not enough, for a habit to stay changed,YOU must believe change is possible. And most ofte,, that belief emerges with the help of a group.
For habits to permanatly change, we must believe that change is feasible,and belief is easier when it occurs with a community
In order to insert a new habit u have to suger coat it for ur mind, U have to do something that u like and enjoy and after it or while doing it do the habit that u wana insert in ur life, and with that ur mind will gradually like that habit and with that it sticks with you and you become consistent at it.
EG: if you want to start going to the gym regularly, willpower isn't enough, and in order for you to make it a habit is to acompange with it a habit u enjoy such as socializing, when you go to a gym make a friend there or get to know a group of people ,ull go to the gym to talk to them and workout as well.
If you dress something new in old habits,its easier for you to accept it.
"Once you're aware of the of how your habit works,once you recognize the cues and rewards, you're halfway to changing it"Nathan Azrin
If u identify the cues and rewards you can change the routine,atleast most of the time,
for some habits however, there's one other ingredient that's necessary : BELIEF.